Sitting Here On Hold

As I sit here on hold with the bank trying to work something out my heart is sinking deeper and deeper into my chest. We weren't approved for the personal loan because of our credit card debit we have with the bank. So now as I type this I'm trying to refinance our truck to see if we can get the funds from that and she's had me on hold for the past 5 minutes. At least one of my favorite songs from Peter Centara just came on, "if you leave me now you'll take away the biggest part of me...ooooOOOooo..baby please don't go..." (Oops I got a little carried away there.)

I feel like if this doesn't go through then I'm just not meant to be a stay at home mom yet. It's a very depressing feeling, I was truly getting my hopes up and had already planned out when library day and park day would be. I know a lot of moms don't like being a stay at mom because it's hard and you really don't have a lot of interaction with adults. So I am trying to set up days where I'm around other grown ups but still hanging out with Scout at the same time. If you can't tell I'm anxious to be there already.

What makes this worse is that I had gotten my hopes up and had made my mind up that I wasn't going to be in this awkward work enviornment much longer. So of course I'm sitting here being negative preparing for the worse so I can be excited if it does go through. Geez after re-reading that, I just realized that's a really crappy way of looking at this situation. I need to remember to stay positive and know that the reason we got denied for the personal loan was so we could get a different type of loan at a much lower interest rate and only increasing our monthly payments by $120.00. So maybe there is light at the tunnel and I'll be able to finally be free of this job. I'm nervous but I feel like it's truly the right decision.

So after spending close to 20 minutes on the phone with the bank it looks like I am going to get to be a stay at home mom!!!!

I am so thrilled! It's going to take all I have to keep my composure for the next week or so and not blurt it out to the whole office. I am seriously going to do the happy dance...if I had a webcam here I'd show you! I might have my husband get it on film when I get home...man I'm excited!

PLAN B:Since I can't do it, here's what it might look like...just imagine a girl and the song I'm so excited!