As I sit here on hold with the bank trying to work something out my heart is sinking deeper and deeper into my chest. We weren't approved for the personal loan because of our credit card debit we have with the bank. So now as I type this I'm trying to refinance our truck to see if we can get the funds from that and she's had me on hold for the past 5 minutes. At least one of my favorite songs from Peter Centara just came on, "if you leave me now you'll take away the biggest part of me...ooooOOOooo..baby please don't go..." (Oops I got a little carried away there.)
I feel like if this doesn't go through then I'm just not meant to be a stay at home mom yet. It's a very depressing feeling, I was truly getting my hopes up and had already planned out when library day and park day would be. I know a lot of moms don't like being a stay at mom because it's hard and you really don't have a lot of interaction with adults. So I am trying to set up days where I'm around other grown ups but still hanging out with Scout at the same time. If you can't tell I'm anxious to be there already.
What makes this worse is that I had gotten my hopes up and had made my mind up that I wasn't going to be in this awkward work enviornment much longer. So of course I'm sitting here being negative preparing for the worse so I can be excited if it does go through. Geez after re-reading that, I just realized that's a really crappy way of looking at this situation. I need to remember to stay positive and know that the reason we got denied for the personal loan was so we could get a different type of loan at a much lower interest rate and only increasing our monthly payments by $120.00. So maybe there is light at the tunnel and I'll be able to finally be free of this job. I'm nervous but I feel like it's truly the right decision.
So after spending close to 20 minutes on the phone with the bank it looks like I am going to get to be a stay at home mom!!!!
I am so thrilled! It's going to take all I have to keep my composure for the next week or so and not blurt it out to the whole office. I am seriously going to do the happy dance...if I had a webcam here I'd show you! I might have my husband get it on film when I get home...man I'm excited!
PLAN B:Since I can't do it, here's what it might look like...just imagine a girl and the song I'm so excited!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I'm Startin New
My life is a mess! I swear there are days when I feel like everything is going on and I have no room just to chill and relax. Then there are other days where I feel completely content with my life. Today is one where I am on the fence, I'm happy for my life but I am scared of the changes that are going to happen. If I don't make a change I'm going to end up like this donkey,
My husband and I had a plan that when he got out of the Army that he was going to go to school and get his education. It's going to be 2 years since he started school and we just had our first baby 6 months ago. Well at this point our plan is getting a little off course. I've been working full time, taking care Scout while my husband is studying and I was going to school on top of that. At this point my husband, Marc, has been taking care of Scout while I'm at work. It hasn't been working, in fact my husband has been struggling with his school work. Trying to watch our little guy and study is very difficult. So we have decided that I am going to quit work and we are going to risk it all and live off of student loans.
I am terrified to be making this choice because of this economy and the fact that I have a good job. However, I feel that staying at home with my baby is going to be beneficial not only to my son but also to my husband. This will allow him the freedom to study and to succeed at school, which is why we are here in the first place. Not for me to follow this career a career, I don't even like. So here we go this is going to be one hell of a journey! We'll see where life takes me and see how I handle being a stay at home mom trying to find a way to provide for my family.
My husband and I had a plan that when he got out of the Army that he was going to go to school and get his education. It's going to be 2 years since he started school and we just had our first baby 6 months ago. Well at this point our plan is getting a little off course. I've been working full time, taking care Scout while my husband is studying and I was going to school on top of that. At this point my husband, Marc, has been taking care of Scout while I'm at work. It hasn't been working, in fact my husband has been struggling with his school work. Trying to watch our little guy and study is very difficult. So we have decided that I am going to quit work and we are going to risk it all and live off of student loans.
I am terrified to be making this choice because of this economy and the fact that I have a good job. However, I feel that staying at home with my baby is going to be beneficial not only to my son but also to my husband. This will allow him the freedom to study and to succeed at school, which is why we are here in the first place. Not for me to follow this career a career, I don't even like. So here we go this is going to be one hell of a journey! We'll see where life takes me and see how I handle being a stay at home mom trying to find a way to provide for my family.
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